A few years ago I began to feel a little burned out and frustrated being in front of a computer all day squeezing out creativity on command, which is really what graphic designers do at this point. The industry is completely digital, unless you are an illustrator and even then you must be able to convert your art into digital form...that is just how it is. I slowly began to put together a resume and look around for what jobs are out there for someone with my experience. Unfortunately a "job" would mean a "boss" and somehow that just never seemed like a good idea - I have problems with authority figures, this is why I started the studio to begin with - I got mad at my boss and quit.
Ok, I know you are wondering where is the "farm" part of this story...I am getting there...you need a bit of background to paint the whole picture and to pull you into to actually wating to follow this blog.
So on the morning of November 6th, 2008 I got a call that my dad had had a stroke and it was bad. I drove from Austin to Dallas and when I arrived he was already brain dead and on life support. We took him off life support November 7th and he passed away with us by his side. This changed me deeply in ways I was not even aware at the time. We had his funeral and I came home and tried to go back to life as I knew it before getting that call. At times it felt like I was getting back on track but my heart was just not in it. My creativity was not there and I was struggling to keep the studio going and to just keep my head above water emotionally. My partner Alissa and daughter Ella needed me and I was so caught up in my own grief I was struggling with everything. I began to see a counselor and that certainly helped and I began to realize I needed to make some change, especially when it came to my work. I just did not have it in me to take any risks, to make any big changes and I think I was just frozen in my fear hanging on. Eventually things began to even out and I began to feel better and begin to plug back in to my life at home, with friends and at the studio. It was better, however, something was still missing.
I want to also say that I believe my dad had a stroke from stress, the stress that his business put on him. Stress that I feel could have been avoided. I feel that stress took him from us too soon. I am a lot like my dad, and in so many ways that is good, and in someways it is not. I do not want to continue running the studio because it is all I know or because it is safe or because I do not know what I would do or I am too scared to make a bold change. I feel everything has it's time and then you have to let go. I am 45 years young and I have a lot of life ahead of me and I intend to live it to the fullest, to take care of myself and stay healthy and active and happy and pursue my passions and have my vocation feed my soul as my studio once did.
In March of 2010 my partner and I watched the movie Food Inc. prior to that had watch Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution. Leading us to really think about where our food comes from and what is in the food we eat. We are already hyper aware because our daughter is allergic to red dye and we have removed all food dye from our home and diets. After watching Food Inc. we did not eat meat for over a month, not to be vegetarian but to just see how it would feel...and now we want to eat only "happy meat", which is harder to do that you think. "Happy meat" would be humanely raised, grass feed beef, free range chicken, etc. So our awareness of organic produce and preservative free foods was taken to a whole new level.
Here comes the "farm" part...
In the beginning of May 2010 I had a dream that I had a farm called Lucky Duck Farm. In my dream, there were no details, just the name and the feeling that I owned it and a glimpse of crops and a field...no animals...no barn...just a name and an idea. This is where the journey begins...
My first thought was "What, ME, have a farm?" I have no farming in my family, no knowledge of farming or gardening for that matter, all though I have a grown a few tomatoes in my time, but it has been a while. Being the artist/designer that I am I thought...I love the name Lucky Duck Farm and I could design a really cool logo for that and a sign and we could have cool t-shirts and hats, now that would be cool and I would LOVE to play in the dirt and grow stuff for a living. Be out everyday at a farm, maybe have some animals and grow some produce and sell it or give it away....the ideas began to flood my brain. My Daughter Ella and I went to visit my mom at her lakehouse a few days later and I decided to tell my mom about my dream and I said to her..."You know, I had this dream and WHY NOT have a farm?" I could learn organic farming, I started my studio not really knowing what I was doing and I had a vision and made it happen...I could do that again. I think I sent my friends Sara and Diene a text about the dream. I came home and actually talked to Diene at length about the dream and about her garden and her farming experience because I knew she had some and I knew she wants to have chickens. I also talked to Sara about my idea only to find out she used to work on farms and actually ran a 300 acre ranch with livestock. I think I was a little afraid to talk to my partner Alissa, who I thought might think I was crazy. Of course, she did not and actually bought me a few books that day about gardening and farm life. Then I really began to start talking to people about it and saying, "Hey, I think I am going to start an organic farm." The more I talked the more it began to be me saying "I AM starting an organic farm and it is called Lucky Duck Farm."
The following week I decided to call my friend Rhonda who owns a ranch called Spirit Reins in Liberty Hill, Texas. They do Equine Assisted Psychotherapy with kids in the foster care system and other at risk youth. I have known Rhonda for a few years and I have been volunteering for them providing graphic design and website maintenance through my studio and actually showing up at the ranch every once and awhile although it has been way too long. I knew Rhonda had quit her job at Dell to start the ranch and wanted to talk to her about that transition. When I told her on the phone that I was going to start an organic farm she immediately asked me "Where?" to which I replied "I have no idea...but somewhere." to which she said "Why don't you do it here?" to which I replied "I don't know, why don't I?" We met the next week and Rhonda offered me an opportunity to come and start "Lucky Duck Farm" on her ranch. She is an amazing woman with a hugely generous heart who I admire and respect deeply. I have watched her and her ranch grow and change in the last few years and the work they do with the kids has a huge ripple out in to the world - I love that and feel so incredibly blessed, grateful and "lucky" to have her giving me this opportunity to pursue my dream of "Lucky Duck Farm". From the moment she made me that offer, in my heart I knew, there is no turning back, this is happening and it is going to be amazing.
So that is what is happening, in the month since my dream of Lucky Duck Farm, I have been volunteering at various farms and have spent time with a wonderful woman who owns a very cool organic farm here in Austin and she is helping me with advice on how to start and what things really are important, like knowing your soil. Also, another amazing woman in my life has offered me the land on her ranch to start my idea and see where it goes. At this point the sky's limit and beyond...I have so many people who are offering help and support and resources are literally coming at me from every direction and it has been an amazing journey already. We are in the process of choosing the exact location of the farm so we can test the soil and begin preparing it for whatever we will grow. And by the way, I have no idea what that will be, we will look at what can be planted whenever it is we are at that point. I want to be clear that, for now, my vision is not to LIVE on a farm, but to have an organic farm, so that is where we will begin. (For all of you who have already told me I do not wake up early enough in the morning to be a farmer...this will be farming Tammy-style...we may farm mid morning, who knows...and the morning routine will change come August when Ella as to be at school at 7:45 anyway)
I have asked various people close to me to be involved and am in the process finding out what experiences they can share with me and how they would like to be involved. Lucky Duck Farm is not employing anyone at this point, however, my goal is to one day have this be my vocation. For now, I will continue to run my graphic design studio, although, I will be moving my office into our home at the end of August. This decision was made before I had my farm dream, however, I am smart enough to know it is all connected.
Alissa has helped me do a visioning exercise that I want to do with my farm "crew" and I think we will do that in the next few weeks. Sara and I have been brainstorming ideas of how to create something really unique...farm "Tammy-style"...or what I refer to as the "un-farm". I am not even sure I know what that means but I like it. One of Sara's ideas was to have a field of Topsy Turvy tomato plants, you know the upside down, As Seen on TV, planters...I love it! And I decided we should research them. Next thing I know Alissa brings home the strawberry Topsy Turvy and after learning it is too late to plant starwberries in it I planted various varities of peppers and it is currently hanging in my backyard, along with three tomato plants I planted that the deer keep eating. I just need to grow something here until I can get out and plant something at Lucky Duck Farm.
So here the journey begins and I truly feel like such a "Lucky Duck" to have this opportunity and this vision and then to have so many people around me wanting to help and be part of it really touches my heart and I know that this farm will feed my soul and the souls of those who are a part of it with me and those whose paths lead them out to the farm. I am so excited to beginning this journey, stay tuned because it will be a wild ride!
PS: And yes, for those of you who know me, I will be riding around on my mountain bike checking on the crops or animals or whatever it is we have at Lucky Duck Farm! YeeHaw!!!
Tammy Stanley
{Lucky Duck Farm}
"We will blow your farmin' mind!"
Thank you to the following people who are helping me clarify the vision and keep the dream alive and kicking...
My mom {who wants her farm name to be "Farmer's Mother"...so cute..and who also, without fail, supports me no matter it is I am doing, whether she agrees or thinks it is wise, I know she will give me her honest opinion and no matter what I decide, she loves me anyway...I have also seen a spark in her eye when we talk "farm" and it touches my heart to see that in her again}
My dad {who is no longer here with us in body, he is most certainly around in spirit...his life taught me to work hard and dream BIG, never give up or give in and fight for what you want, regardless of what others think...I know if he were here, he may think this is one "crazy as shit" idea, however, I also know how proud of me he would be to see me going for it and at the end of the day, he would support me and probably tell a whole bunch of strangers stories about the farm...he loved to tell stories and I know there will be some good ones coming soon...I love and miss you Dad...I feel you with me and I am going to need some strength to pull this off, bring it on...}
My partner Alissa {who is helping me figure out what the "vision" is and listens to all my farm and farming stories and is buying me the coolest books and magazines to keep the dream alive and seems to spark new ideas about it everyday...and inspires me with her own life and helps me know I can do anything}
My daughter Ella {whose excitement about Lucky Duck Farm is contagious and her "entries" into my farm journal are awesome}
My friend Sara {who has been there for me in some of my darkest moments in the last several years and I love her for that...she never judges and only inspires more creative thought and ideas, like, "Hey we could have a whole field of Topsy Turvy tomatoes growing upside down!"...she also makes me laugh my ass off and that is what we will be doing and the farm, while we are working}
My friend Diene {who knows this farming world and knows the realities, which I do not like to think about, but need to...and who REALLY wants to have chickens and build a "chicken tractor"...chickens coming soon, I can feel it - Diene just go get some chickens...we'll move 'em to the farm later}
My friend Rhonda www.spiritreins.org {whose amazingly generous heart is allowing this dream to really happen NOW...and I think will be involved in more ways than she knows, although I am very clear that this rancher girl does not need one more thing on her list of things to do other than run Spirit Reins}
My friend David www.tipsytexan.com {who knows the farmer's market world and who has been good friend for years now and so it seems to all be coming full circle...I am not even sure what all he will help with, but I know it will be BIG}
My new friend Carol Ann at Boggy Creek Farms http://www.boggycreekfarm.com/ {whose willingness to open her farm and home to me really touched my heart and whose guidance in this process is and will be so important...I have to get to know my soil and she is helping}
No comments:
Post a Comment